You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
