Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Alive.
So much puke
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
