About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
