Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
