There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
