Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
