Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
