At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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