dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
