its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
