what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
