I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
