If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
