three words: i give head
three words: not that well
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
