I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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