It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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