i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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