brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
