Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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