My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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