there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
