they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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