babies were throwing up all over the place
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
