I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
