I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
