So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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