I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
