I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So much rum. So many feels.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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