so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
