ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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