I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
