trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
