At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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