Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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