That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
