I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
