Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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