im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
