We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
