Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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