I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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