If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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