sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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