omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
