i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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