ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
