He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
