I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
