My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
