I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
