I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
