wat bout pragnant strippers??
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
