after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
