It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
