make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
