I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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